Two years ago today, my best friend passed away.
Chris gave me the strength and the ambition to pursue my dreams and to follow my heart. He’s the only friend I’ve ever had who truly knew me and knew my heart – it’s an irreplaceable type of friendship.
I wouldn’t be jumping out of airplanes and tackling challenges today if it hadn’t been for Chris.
This week has been crazy for me. It was the end of a relationship and friendship, it was a week of coming to grips with a diagnosis and a different heart condition and a hard decision – which I still haven’t made.
I’ve had an immense outpouring of support, which I am very grateful for. I’ve been shown that when a door closes, another one opens. I’ve shown myself that I can make it on my own no matter what – but that doesn’t make any of this any easier. It’s hard.
Life can be difficult. Any way you look at it – people die, people leave, things are inconsistent and crazy at the times when you need and crave stability.
It’s days like this where I want to cuss everyone and everything. It’s not fair to have the one person who can make things better ripped from your life with no warning. Change can be great or it can be negative. It is all in how you choose to look at it.
So for today, one day at a time, I will choose to believe and have faith. I will choose to see the positive. Everything happens for a reason. And real change never comes without hard decisions and a little heart ache. In the end, pain makes you stronger. I’d like to think that I’m a living example of that. Despite the heart condition, and the daily challenges, I still live my life to the fullest and make it a goal to accomplish everything I’ve ever dreamed of. Despite the fact that my best friend isn’t here in the flesh to help me through all of this – He’s here in every single thing that I do.
When I jump, Chris flies with me. If I cry, he’s by my side. When I tackle a new challenge, I know he’s standing proud beside me.
I’m not a perfect person. But what is perfect, anyway? Everyone has their flaws. Maybe imperfection is what makes us all perfect in our own way.
So I choose to try to live my life the best I can. I choose to take leaps and do things that people may think I’m crazy for doing. After all, life is just one moment of chaos followed by another. And just existing isn’t really living.
Take something you’ve always wanted to do and just do it. Live every single day like it is your last. Take risks and make those hard decisions that you’re scared to make.
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear”
For every person who has something negative to say, there’s another person in your life that loves and supports you – someone who will believe in you no matter what.
You never know what life will throw at you, but I’m here and still surviving and I’m strapped in and ready for the ride.
And I’ll continue to live and love every single minute of it.